Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
should my penis look like a turkey
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
