Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
