walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
