if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
