Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
