I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize