I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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