She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I deserve this hangover.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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