bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
