***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
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