I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
