Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
