Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
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