everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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