I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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