I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
