how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
