I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
