someone get that fucking seahorse.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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