Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
