Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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