Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
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