Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
