I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
