When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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