Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
