My first STD was from a foam party
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
