i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
