It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize