the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize