Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
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