You're a womanizer and a bitch.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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