I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
