somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize