I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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