is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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