Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
