Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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