why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
