Ambien. No doubt about it.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
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