I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
