oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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