Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
