Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
