I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
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