I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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