i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
