My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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