so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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