whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I stole a fireplace last night.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
