Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
