If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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