This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
