I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
