I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Randomize
