what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
