Heybabeimwearingurpanties
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
