i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
