Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
