Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
