So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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