I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Randomize
