The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
